Things aren't always as they seem
by little-world
Summary: Set 4 mothns after 'To have loved and lost'. Please Read and Review
1. Default Chapter

It was a dark, cold stormy night. The trees were wildly swinging in the wind. The air was cold. And the rain pounded down the windows of Diane and Alex's apartment as they tried to get some sleep. Diane suddenly felt another pain in her stomach. They had been coming on and off for about the past hour and a half. She looked at the clock on the bedside table. It read 2:35. She looked over at Alex who was, somehow, fast asleep. She felt another pain and began to panic. She knew what the pain was, and that there was worse to come. She knew what was happening. The baby was coming. She was finally going to be a mum.  
  
She prodded Alex in the side, to try and wake him. It didn't work and he carried on sleeping. She prodded him harder  
  
DIANE: ALEX!  
  
He shot up  
  
ALEX: ow! What was that for?  
  
He looked at the clock and laid back down  
  
ALEX: It's half two in the morning.go back to sleep  
  
DIANE: Alex!  
  
ALEX: What?  
  
DIANE: Agghh!  
  
ALEX: Diane?  
  
DIANE: Alex.I think the baby's coming  
  
He sat up again, looking shocked, nervous and happy all at once.  
  
ALEX: err.ok.right.what do I do?  
  
DIANE: Driving me to the hospital would be a good start  
  
ALEX: Ok.right  
  
He quickly got out of bed, threw some trousers and a T-Shirt on, put on some shoes and ran out of the door.  
  
He stopped and quickly ran back inside the apartment.  
  
ALEX: Car keys!  
  
He ran out the door again and down to the car  
  
ALEX: Uh! Diane!  
  
He quickly ran back up to the apartment where Diane was dressed, waiting by the bed with her hospital bag in her hand  
  
DIANE: I wondered how long it would take you to remember me!  
  
ALEX: Sorry honey.I'm just so excited.and nervous  
  
DIANE: I know.calm down.are you going to be warm enough in that T-Shirt? There's a gale out there  
  
ALEX: Yeah, I'll be fine, now come on lets get you to the hospital.I don't want to have to deliver this baby myself! 


	2. Chapter 2

They got in the car and were soaking wet from the rain. Alex quickly put his foot down and drove off  
  
DIANE: Hey.slow down.I want to arrive at Holby alive!!  
  
ALEX: Sorry  
  
They were speeding down the dark country lane that they go down everyday to get to work when they heard a crack and a loud thud in between the claps of thunder.  
  
DIANE: What..ugh.what was that?  
  
ALEX: I don't kn.  
  
The bright lightening lit up the lane and they could see a large tree laying across the road a few metres in front of them  
  
ALEX: I guess that's what it was  
  
DIANE: Great!.ugh!.I'm not having this baby in the back of the car!  
  
ALEX: It's ok.  
  
He quickly did a three point turn and quickly drove off back the way they had just come  
  
ALEX: Everything's going to be fine.we'll just have to go the other way through town.there won't be any traffic this time of night.everything's going to be fine  
  
DIANE: Not if you keep driving like a mad man.slow down.ugh.the roads are wet remember  
  
They were coming up to a cross roads and the traffic lights turned red as they approached. Alex carried on driving  
  
DIANE: ALEX!!!!  
  
ALEX: Nothing's coming. 


	3. Chapter 3

A car came across the lights and head straight for the side of their car. Alex swerved and the other car skidded on the wet road as they narrowly avoided each other and Alex carried on driving  
  
DIANE: ALEX YOU NEARLY GOT US KILLED!!  
  
ALEX: Sorry  
  
DIANE: SLOW DOWN!  
  
Diane and Alex finally arrived at maternity after what seemed like a roller coaster ride that had lasted an eternity.  
  
MUBBS: Ok how long have you been having the contractions?  
  
ALEX: er.about...er  
  
DIANE: On and off for the past two hours  
  
MUBBS: Ok. How far apart are they now?  
  
DIANE: Aghh!!  
  
Mubbs smiled  
  
MUBBS: Ok.you're going to be fine  
  
Diane was wheeled into the delivery suite where Owen examined her  
  
OWEN: Ok...well you've still got a while.your not fully dilated yet  
  
Diane looked shocked and somewhat horrified  
  
DIANE: but..  
  
Owen smiled  
  
OWEN: I'll be back to check on you later  
  
DIANE: Alex I don't think I'm going to be able to do this.  
  
Alex took her hand and gently kissed it  
  
ALEX: Come on you'll be fine  
  
*A WHILE LATER*  
  
ALEX: Come on Diane you're doing great.just push!  
  
DIANE: What do you think I'm try to do.have a picnic?!  
  
Mubbs smiled  
  
OWEN: Ok one last big push for me Diane  
  
DAINE: AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!  
  
The pain could be seen on Alex's face as Diane dug her fingernails into his, now very red, hand once again.  
  
They heard the baby cry and Alex smiled as tears welled in his eyes. Diane flopped back onto her pillow in exhaustion  
  
OWEN: It's a girl  
  
Rosie took her to the side to clean her up and check her over. She wrapped her up and took her back over to Diane  
  
ROSIE: There you go. a beautiful baby girl  
  
DIANE: You take her Alex. 


	4. Chapter 4

Diane looked down, expressionless, at her new sleeping baby that she was holding in her arms. Alex looked down upon them both with a giant smile on his face. His family. The family that he had always wanted, but didn't realize how much until now.  
  
DIANE: You take her  
  
Alex smiled down at his new daughter. He never realised that he could love someone so much this quickly. He didn't notice that Diane didn't look quite as happy.  
  
DIANE: Suppose she should have a name  
  
ALEX: yeah..  
  
DIANE: Well what are you going to call her?  
  
Her comment took Alex a little by surprise and he looked up at her slightly concerned  
  
ALEX: err...well. what names do you like? We should both agree on it.  
  
DIANE: I don't care.what names are in your family?  
  
The smile dropped form Alex's face. He placed the baby back into her hospital crib  
  
DIANE: Alex?  
  
He looked at the floor and didn't respond  
  
DIANE: Alex? What names have run through your family?  
  
He started muttering  
  
ALEX: I.I er.  
  
DIANE: Alex.what is it?.  
  
ALEX: I.don't.know  
  
DIANE: What do you mean?  
  
ALEX: I.don't know what names run through my family  
  
DIANE: Well it doesn't matter, I'm sure your mum will know.  
  
ALEX: No.She.I.  
  
Diane looked concerned  
  
DIANE: Alex?.What is it? What's wrong?  
  
ALEX: I.I er.I.  
  
He looked up at her  
  
ALEX: I was.I was adopted.  
  
He quickly turned to leave the room. Diane called after him, with a look of worry and shock on her face, but he carried on out of the door. 


	5. Chapter 5

Ten minutes had passed and Alex slowly walked into Dianes room  
  
ALEX: I.I'm sorry.I shouldn't have behaved like that earlier.  
  
DIANE: It's ok.I'm sorry. I didn't know  
  
ALEX: I .I haven't told anyone else before.I.it just brings back too many feelings, feelings that I'd rather forget  
  
DIANE: I understand. I'm sorry.Let's not talk about it again  
  
Alex smiled and walked over to the baby  
  
ALEX: So.we still have to think of a name for her  
  
Diane's smile faded  
  
DIANE: What do you want to call her?  
  
ALEX: I quite like the name Grace.or Hollie. What do you think?  
  
DIANE: Yeah, both's fine,  
  
ALEX: Are you sure.we could think of something else.  
  
DIANE: No. I said that's fine  
  
He picked her up and cuddled her close to his chest  
  
ALEX: Baby Grace.Grace Hollie Adams  
  
He looked over to Diane who had curled herself back up under the sheet. Once again, she didn't seem to be sharing his joy and enthusiasm. He placed Baby Grace back in her cot  
  
ALEX: I'll be back in a minute  
  
DIANE: mmm  
  
Alex walked along the corridor, trying to find Owen. He found him in his office.  
  
ALEX: Owen, can I have a word?  
  
OWEN: Yeah sure.what is it?.is it the baby?  
  
ALEX: No. Grace is fine.  
  
OWEN: Grace? That's a lovely name.  
  
ALEX: Thanks.  
  
OWEN: I've got an aunt called Grace.she.  
  
ALEX: Owen  
  
OWEN: Sorry.what was it you wanted to see me about?  
  
ALEX: It's Diane...I'm a bit worried about her.She.she doesn't seem.well she doesn't seem very happy. She has hardly held Grace and she seems really disinterested with her  
  
OWEN: She's had a long day. It was a hard labour.She's probably just tired  
  
Alex didn't seem quite convinced and still looked worried  
  
OWEN: She's been through a lot.it takes the body time to adjust  
  
ALEX: mmm  
  
OWEN: It's not uncommon for women to feel and behave like this after giving birth.and not all women bond with their babies instantly, but if it is severe and does continue there may be a chance she could have PPD  
  
Alex looked blank  
  
OWEN: Sorry.Postpartum depression or postnatal depression, in which case we can look into the possibility of therapy, or some anti-depressants  
  
Alex looked worried  
  
OWEN: There's no need to look so worried.it's only a possibility.she might be fine in a few days.just be there for her and give her your love and support.I'll keep an eye on her if it makes you feel better  
  
ALEX: Yeah.thanks Owen  
  
OWEN: No problem 


	6. Chapter 6

A few days later and Diane and baby Grace were ready to go home. Alex picked Dianes bag up from the bed and started out of the room. Diane stood by the bed looking anxious.  
  
DIANE: Alex what about.her  
  
ALEX: You can carry Grace can't you honey?  
  
Diane sighed and picked up the carrycot.  
  
They walked out of the room to be met by Owen  
  
OWEN: Going home then?  
  
Alex smiled. He was so excited.  
  
ALEX: Yeah. I've been waiting for this day for ages.  
  
OWEN: I know the feeling. You'll be fine. Tired, but fine.  
  
Owen and Alex laughed  
  
DIANE: (muttering to herself under her breath) Great! Can't bl***y wait!  
  
Diane was very quiet during the journey home and went to lie on the bed as soon as they got home. A tear rolled down her cheek as she thought about what was ahead of her. She was dreading the next day when Alex would be going into work and she would be left alone in the apartment with Grace all day. She wished so much that it was her that would be going to work instead of him. Things weren't how she had expected them to be. She had thought that things would be great once the baby had been born, but it wasn't. Not for her anyway. She had thought that she would be so happy and love her child so much. But she didn't. Alex seemed so natural with Grace. She could hear him playing with Grace in the next room, laughing and giggling. He was so happy and excited. Why couldn't she be feeling this way? She wanted to, but she just didn't feel it. 'I must be such an evil person ' she thought, 'what sort of mother would feel like this?' Another tear rolled down her face. She heard Alex coming towards the room, so quickly closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep. She couldn't tell him how she was feeling. She couldn't tell anyone. How could she? People would think she was such a horrible person and bad mother. Why wouldn't they, when it was what she thought herself. Alex came in and gently moved Dianes hair out of her face and kissed her on the forehead, before closing the door after him. She opened her eyes again and another tear fell from her eyes. 


	7. Chapter 7

Alex looked up as the clock started beeping. It read 7:15. 'Was it really that time already?' he thought. It had only felt like five minutes since he last saw to Grace. He got up and got ready for work, kissing Diane and Grace lovingly on the head before he left. Ten minutes later and Grace was crying again. Diane rolled over and put her head under the soft pillow to try and drown out the sound. 'Does she never sleep?' Diane thought. It didn't work. She could still hear Grace screaming. She never knew that such a loud noise could come from such a small person. Diane defeatedly and reluctantly got up and walked over to the cot and nervously picked Grace up.  
  
*LATER AT HOLBY*  
  
Alex walked passed the nurses station where Kath was standing tidying up some papers before finishing her shift.  
  
KATH: Oh Alex.  
  
He stopped and turned around to face her  
  
KATH: How's Diane and the baby?  
  
ALEX: Fine thanks. We've decided on the name Grace  
  
KATH: Aww that's lovely. I'm just finishing my shift.I was wondering.do you think I could go and see them both?  
  
ALEX: Yeah, I'm sure Diane would love to see you  
  
Kath arrived at Diane and Alex's apartment and rang the bell. It was a while before a very tired looking Diane answered the door. Her greasy hair was scraped back into a messy ponytail, she was not wearing any make-up and had an old pair of joggers and a T-shirt on, which had a white stain on the shoulder!  
  
KATH: Hello. Thought you might like some adult company and I've been dying to see the baby. Alex said it would be ok  
  
Diane politely smiled  
  
DIANE: Come in.  
  
Diane looked around the apartment and noticed the state it was in. She hadn't noticed before. But suddenly felt very ashamed.  
  
DIANE: .er.sorry about the mess.  
  
KATH: Oh that's ok  
  
DIANE: God I must look awful  
  
KATH: Don't worry  
  
Grace started crying  
  
KATH: Shouldn't you go and see to her?  
  
Diane sighed and turned to walk across to Grace  
  
KATH: I'll put the kettle on  
  
Diane finally managed to get Grace back to sleep and sat down on the sofa. Kath handed her a cup of tea  
  
KATH: So how are you?  
  
DIANE: Oh I'm fine  
  
Kath could see that she obviously wasn't  
  
KATH: Really? You must be coping better than I did when Danny was born then!  
  
Diane suddenly burst into tears and Kath put down her cup and pulled Diane close into her.  
  
KATH: hey, hey.come on  
  
Diane sniffed  
  
DIANE: I'm.I'm sorry.  
  
KATH: Hey it's ok  
  
DIANE: I.I.can't.cope.  
  
KATH: It's ok.I know what it's like having a new born baby.I've been there remember.It's not easy.  
  
DIANE: I.just.  
  
KATH: .never thought it would be so hard?  
  
Diane nodded, still crying uncontrollably on Kath's shoulder.  
  
DIANE: I.thought.  
  
KATH: I know.come on, dry those tears.it's ok.it will get easier.  
  
DIANE: But.I.don't think.that she likes me.and.I.don't.oh Kath.  
  
KATH: Shhhh.I know.I know.but she does like you and you will grow to like her too.  
  
Diane looked up  
  
KATH: It takes time.you don't fall in love straight away.no-one does no matter what they say.it takes time.the body's been through a lot. Your hormones are a mess.and you're just tired.but in a few days things will look better.you'll start to love her.it's a gradual process.and then you wouldn't be without her.just give it time  
  
DIANE: I.thought.I thought it was just me.I thought.I must be a horrible person.  
  
KATH: No don't be silly.come on.dry those tears  
  
Diane smiled  
  
KATH: They don't tell what it's really like do they? No matter how many baby books you've read you're never quite prepared.you think you'll be different.  
  
Diane nodded  
  
DIANE: Thanks Kath  
  
KATH: Hey, that's ok. What are friends for?  
  
Diane smiled  
  
KATH: That's better.feeling better now you've got it off your chest?  
  
DIANE: Yeah  
  
Diane wiped away her tears  
  
KATH: How about you go and have a nice long bath or get some sleep? I'll look after Grace and do a bit of tidying up. Yeah?  
  
DIANE: No.I couldn't ask you to do that  
  
KATH: You didn't. I offered. Go on  
  
DIANE: Are you sure?  
  
KATH: Yes.now go!  
  
As Kath turned Diane around and gently pushed her towards the bathroom they both smiled, something that Diane hadn't done in a while. 


	8. Chapter 8

Diane came out of the bathroom after having a long relaxing soak in a bubble bath  
  
DIANE: Wow.you've been busy.I've never seen this place look so clean.thank you  
  
Kath smiled  
  
KATH: Feeling better?  
  
DIANE: Yep. Much  
  
KATH: Good  
  
DIANE: You sit down. I'll make us a cup of tea. You deserve it  
  
KATH: Thanks  
  
DIANE: Sorry about before  
  
KATH: Oh no need to apologise  
  
They both sat on the sofa sipping their hot cups of tea  
  
DIANE: So.how have you been? I haven't seen you since you got back from Australia. How was it?  
  
KATH: It was good.I needed it.I needed time to clear my head and work pout what I was going to do  
  
DIANE: And?.did you make a decision?  
  
KATH: Yep.Ed was fun. He made me laugh and feel like a schoolgirl again, but thinking about it I knew that it would have never gone anywhere.we're too different.and I know the age thing shouldn't have mattered.but.I know that eventually it would have.  
  
DIANE: how did he take it?  
  
KATH: Not too good  
  
DIANE: Oh dear.and Nick, where does he stand?  
  
Kath smiled  
  
KATH: Nick Jordan is where my heart truly lies and I think he feels the same way.although we weren't together long before he left last time, I don't think either of us truly got over how much we felt, feel for each.it's been so good since I've been back form Australia. He really knows how to treat a woman.and I just feel so comfortable yet excited and happy when I'm with him.I haven't felt like this for ages.  
  
Diane smiled  
  
DIANE: Oh Kath I'm so happy for you. You deserve it.you really do  
  
Kath arrived home and gasped at what she saw waiting for her. The lights were turned down low and a single candle was lit in the centre of the table. Nick had made dinner and was waiting with a single red rose for her. He took her jacket off and took her hand in his. She was amazed at what he had done for her.  
  
NICK: Would you care to take a seat and join me for dinner?  
  
Kath softly giggled as he led her to the table where red rose petals were spread across the white tablecloth. She sat down with a huge smile on her face, and her eyes sparkled from the candlelight. She couldn't believe what he had done. No one had ever done something like this for her. She felt special. Nick made her feel special, like no one else had ever done before.  
  
They smiled and gazed into each others eyes as they ate. Nick got up and cleared away the desert plates into the kitchen. He came back and knelt down on one knee at Kaths side. He took her hand in his and took out a small box from his trouser pocket. It creaked as he opened it to reveal a sparkling diamond ring inside.  
  
NICK: Katherine Ann Fox. will you marry me? 


	9. Chapter 9

Kath was speechless but she knew what she had to do. She knew how she felt and what would be right. All the emotions that she had felt for Terry flooded back. She remembered the way he smiled. The way he kissed her.their wedding day.the day he died. She looked down at Nick and smiled. She knew what the right thing to do was. She knew he loved her and she loved him and she knew that he would never hurt her like Simon did. He would protect her. She knew they belonged together and that she would be lost without him and she giggled  
  
KATH: Yes  
  
NICK: Wh.?  
  
KATH: Yes.yes I'll marry you  
  
NICK: Oh Kath  
  
They both smiled as he slipped the ring onto her finger. They giggled and quickly hugged each other. The hug that she knew she would always keep her safe. They pulled apart slightly  
  
NICK: I love you  
  
KATH: I love you too  
  
They both leaned back in towards each other and kissed. 


	10. Chapter 10

*THE NEXT MORNING*  
  
Kath and Nick entered the ward, walking hand in hand, both smiling. They stopped at the nurses station where Nick cleared his throat and raised his voice.  
  
NICK: Can I have your attention please?  
  
Everyone stopped what they were doing and quickly gathered around, wondering what was going on. Ed came out of a side ward and leaned against the wall with his arms crossed. Ric stood beside him.  
  
NICK: We have some news.  
  
He looked down at Kath and they both nervously and excitedly quietly giggled. He looked back at the crowd while she lovingly gazed up at him, still holding hands.  
  
NICK: Kath has agreed to be my wife.we're getting married!  
  
Everyone smiled and clapped. Except Ed. He looked down at the floor, the hurt he felt inside showing on his face. Ric could see his heartache.  
  
RIC: The hardest thing in the world to do is watch the person you love, love somebody else  
  
He knew exactly how Ed was feeling. He had to watch Diane, the woman who he loved most in world, love Alex Adams, the man he hated, because for one, he had everything Ric wanted - to be loved by Diane.  
  
Chrissie walked over to Kath and hugged her  
  
CHRISSIE: I'm so happy for you  
  
Ric was close behind Chrissie and kissed Kath on the cheek  
  
RIC: Yeah, I hope you'll be happy.you deserve it  
  
KATH: Thanks  
  
As Ric shook Nicks hand and congratulated him Kath noticed Ed across the other side of the ward still standing against the wall with the pain showing on his face. He had still not got over how he felt for her. He loved her. The age difference didn't matter to him. Nothing mattered to him anymore except her. He thought about her everyday and wished it was him she had chosen and not Nick, but she hadn't and now it was far to late to change it. Kath walked over to him.  
  
KATH: Ed I'm sorry.I was going to tell you first.I didn't want you to find out like this.  
  
Ed gulped, fighting back the lump in his throat. He couldn't show her his pain. He didn't want her to see the tears that were so close to falling from his eyes and her to feel sorry for him. That wouldn't be fair.  
  
ED: No.it's fine.I'm happy for you.  
  
Kath reached out to touch his arm. No matter how hard he was trying to hide his true feelings she could see he was hurting  
  
KATH: Ed.  
  
He pulled back his arm before her hand reached it. He wouldn't be able to cope with her feeling sorry for him and he knew that the tears would finally escape.  
  
ED:I best get on.patients to see.  
  
Kath looked down the corridor after him. This was meant to be the happiest time of her life.she was about to get married to the man she loved.but she felt so guilty.  
  
Nick came up behind her and slipped his hand around her waist, causing her to lose her trail of thought about Ed as he turned her to face him.  
  
NICK: You ok?  
  
Kath blinked, trying to get the last remaining thought of Ed out of her mind. It wasn't her problem.they were over.but she felt as though it was her problem.she didn't want to hurt him. She didn't want to hurt anyone, but she knew that she had to put herself first for once and she smiled to Nick.  
  
KATH: Yeah, fine  
  
NICK: Ok, well I'm due in theatre so I'll see you later  
  
He tenderly kissed her goodbye and they went their separate ways, while Chrissie and Ric walked down the corridor after them  
  
CHRISSIE: I'm so happy for Kath  
  
RIC: Yeah, she deserves some happiness.Ed didn't look too happy though  
  
CHRISSIE: No.apparently he never could just let things go.  
  
RIC: What do you mean by that?  
  
CHRISSIE: Oh, it doesn't matter.I shouldn't have said anything. 


	11. Chapter 11

*LATER THAT EVENING*  
  
Kath picked up her bag from her office. She was finally going home. It had felt like a long day. Although she was pleased people were happy for her and Nick, there was only so much she could take of people congratulating her on the engagement and smiling politely back at them.  
  
She walked along to the bus stop across the road. Nick had to do a double shift and would be working all night so couldn't drive her home, but she didn't mind. The fresh air would do her good, she thought. She used to hate being out in the dark at night, but now she didn't seem to mind anymore. Even though he wasn't with her, she felt as though Nick was looking after her. She was just reaching the bus stop, when she heard someone come up behind her. She thought it was just someone else wanting to catch the bus. But it wasn't. He grabbed her shoulder and put his hand in front of her mouth. He was holding her so tightly. She could smell alcohol on his breath and she was scared. Petrified. More frightened than she had ever been in her life. 'What was going to happen to her?' she thought as the tears began falling from her eyes.  
  
KATH: W.who.who are you? W.what do you want?  
  
He didn't reply, but began dragging her away from the bus stop. Away from the road and street lights. Away from where people might be able to see them. Where she had a glimmer of hope that she might be helped. Into the darkness, where she knew that he was going to hurt her. Hurt her more than he was doing already. He grabbed her arm, lifting it above her head and pressed her against a tree. The tears were now flowing faster down her cheeks, now that she could see his face. See who it was that was doing this to her. She was shocked. 'How could he be doing this to her? Him? Why?' she thought.  
  
MAN: You know this is what you want really, Kath  
  
KATH: N.no  
  
The tears continued down her face and she was shaking with terror at the thought of what he was going to do next. He continued to hold her pressed against the tree, while he tried kissing her but some how, she didn't quite know how, where she got the strength from she didn't know, but she managed to struggle her arm free. Only for him to grab it again and pin it against the tree once more. He was even angrier now. More anger was being shown than she had ever seen in her life. He slapped her as she tried to turn her head away from him as he moved in to kiss her once more. He forced her head with a thud back onto the tree. There was nothing she could do. Nothing that would free her from this horrifying situation... 


	12. Chapter 12

Diane decided to go and see Kath. Alex had told her about the engagement and Diane wanted to go and congratulate her. She arrived at Kaths house and knocked on the door. There was no answer. 'That's strange' thought Diane, 'it's her day off and I said on the phone yesterday that I was coming.' Diane peered through the front window. She could make out a figure on the sofa, so she knocked on the window.  
  
DIANE: Kath?  
  
There was no reply  
  
DIANE: Kath? Are you in there? It's Diane. Are you ok?  
  
There was still no answer and Diane was getting worried. After a few minutes, Kath came to the door  
  
KATH: H...hello? W...who.is it?  
  
Her voice was quiet ands he sounded scared  
  
DIANE: Kath? It's Diane  
  
Kath slowly opened the door with the chain on, and peered out to see who was there. Diane could see that there was something really wrong. Kath was still in her coat and uniform from yesterday and had stains from the tears that had been running down her face all night.  
  
DIANE: Kath? It's Diane. Can I come in?  
  
Kath closed the door to take off the chain and nervously let Diane in. Kath looked tired and scared and Diane could also see a bruise and red finger marks on Kath's face.  
  
DIANE: Kath? What is it? What's wrong?  
  
Kath slowly turned and walked back into the living room and sat hunched up on the sofa. She gripped her legs and huddled them close to her chest. Diane sat down next to her, very concerned, and Kath flinched as Diane put her hand on Kaths arm. Kath was shaking and the tears were once again rolling down her face.  
  
DIANE: What is it? What's happened? Nick?  
  
Kath slowly shock her head  
  
DIANE: Kath what is it? You can tell me  
  
Kath went to speak, but nothing came out. 'Perhaps it was for the best' she thought. She didn't think she could bring herself to tell Diane, anyone, what had happened to her. It would be like reliving it all over again, something that she had been doing all night in her head, but didn't want to have to speak about it. That would be so much harder, trying to put it into words what he did to her, she knew that she wouldn't be able to find the right way to explain it. No words would truly ever explain what he had done. How much he hurt her, took her energy and freedom away. But she knew she had to. She knew that Diane wouldn't go away, without being told. She wanted to help her, Kath knew that, but for her to be helped, she would have to reveal what had happened.  
  
KATH: I.I.he.he.  
  
The tears continued falling faster down her face. It was hurting so much, trying to talk about it.  
  
KATH: He.last night.he.  
  
DIANE: It's ok.carry on  
  
DIANE: He.he grabbed me.an.and.  
  
She couldn't control the tears any longer  
  
KATH: He.he.dragged.me.in.into.th.the.an...and..left.me there.once he.he'd.he forced himself.on.me.I.I tried to.to scream.but.he.he.wouldn't stop.and he.he.raped me.  
  
Tears began to well in Dianes eyes. It was heartbreaking to see Kath in so much pain. 'How could anyone have done this to her? Who had done this to her?' she thought  
  
DIANE: Wh.who.did this to you? Simon?  
  
Kath shock her head. 'Maybe if it had have been Simon, it would have somehow not have seen as bad. At least she would have had some idea of what he was capable of. But.. How could he have done this to her? He had seemed so nice before and now she would have to see him every day at the hospital. The place that she worked. The place that he worked. How could she ever go back to the hospital, knowing that he would be there?'she thought. 


	13. Chapter 13

DIANE: Who was it Kath? Who did this to you?  
  
Kath couldn't bring herself to say his name. Just thinking about him made her feel cold, dirty, scared. Diane pulled Kath in close to her and the tears soaked into Dianes top, as she gently stroked Kaths hair  
  
DIANE: Shhh.it's ok.you're safe now.he won't hurt you.it's ok.let it all out  
  
KATH: It.it..was.it was.E..Ed  
  
Kath broke down in another series of tears and Diane gasped in shock. Ed? Ed Keating? Surely not. How could he have done this to Kath. Why?  
  
DIANE: E.Ed?  
  
Kath slowly nodded her head and Diane stroked her hair once again, still in disbelief  
  
Diane: Shh.it's ok.he won't hurt you now..w.why did he..  
  
KATH: He.he.said..I should.I should be with him.not.not Nick.he.he said it ..it's him I want.not Nick.he said it's what I wanted..  
  
DIANE: It's ok.I've got you now.  
  
After a few minutes, Diane slowly pulled apart, stilling holding onto Kaths hands, and looked straight at her  
  
DIANE: Kath, you know you've got to tell the police don't you?  
  
KATH: b.but.I  
  
DIANE: Kath you've got to  
  
Kath looked down  
  
KATH: I.I.know.but.I.can't go through it again  
  
DIANE: I.I know.but.  
  
Kath shook her head and thought 'no, you don't. You don't know. How could you possibly know what I'm going through? As much as you try to understand, you can't because it hasn't happened to you'. Diane could tell what Kath was thinking.  
  
DIANE: I.I know what you're thinking.and I do know what you're going through.I.I.I've been there.  
  
Kath looked up, surprised and puzzled  
  
KATH: W.  
  
DIANE: I.I.was raped.it was a long time ago.  
  
KATH: I.I didn't know  
  
Diane shock her head  
  
DIANE: I.I've never told anyone before.I.I.was at med school and.and.one.one of the lecturers.  
  
Diane tried to blink back the tears. She needed to be strong for Kath, but just thinking about it once again made her feel sick, cold, scared and vulnerable again.  
  
DIANE: He.he called me to stay behind to.talk about an essay and..and.he.he.  
  
A tear ran down her face  
  
KATH: It's.ok.you don't have to  
  
Diane wiped away the tear  
  
DIANE: I didn't tell anyone what happened..I.I felt ashamed.kept thinking it was my fault.that I must have led him on.I must have been to blame.but.the only thing I am to blame for is.not telling the police.coz.coz he could have done it to someone else.and.and that.would be my fault.and I live with that guilt everyday now.wondering if he has tried to ruin some other young girls life.and that's.that's why you've got to tell the police Kath.it wasn't your fault.tell them what he did to you so that he can't do it to someone else.  
  
KATH: I.I know.it's just  
  
Diane squeezed Kaths hand  
  
DIANE: I know.it'll be hard.but I'll be here for you.and believe me.it'll be harder in the end trying to deal with it on your own.knowing that he's still out there  
  
Kath slowly nodded her head. 


	14. Chapter 14

*NEXT DAY AT HOLBY*  
  
Two men, with very serious looks on their faces, wearing suits walked along to the corridor and stopped at the nurses station where Chrissie was sitting. One of the men then got out a police ID card and showed it to Chrissie  
  
DCI JACKSON: I'm DCI Jackson, this is my colleague DCI Brockhurst. I'm looking for a Mr Edward Keating  
  
CHRISSIE: Er.yeah.I'll just page him for you. He shouldn't be too long.... Kelly, can you take these gentlemen to the relatives room please  
  
KELLY: Ugh! I have got work of my own to do you know, and Kaths, seeing as she has decided not to turn up again, with no explanation!  
  
As she turned around she noticed the police badge, so politely smiled at the officers. Chrissie was giving her a stern look and she started towards the relatives room  
  
KELLY: If you'd like to come this way.  
  
Kelly led the officers into the room and returned to the nurses station, where Chrissie was still sitting doing paperwork  
  
KELLY: Oooh, I wonder what they want?  
  
CHRISSIE: I don't know and it's none of our business.didn't you say you've got lots of work to do  
  
Ed arrived at the nurses station  
  
ED: You paged me?  
  
CHRSSIE: Yeah, there's two police officers to see you.I've put them in the relatives room  
  
ED: Thanks. Did they say what they wanted?  
  
CHRISSIE: No  
  
Ed walked off to the relatives room, feeling slightly worried  
  
KELLY: Oooh, I wonder what he's done  
  
Chrissie gave her another stern look  
  
KELLY: Sorry!  
  
*IN THE RELATIVES ROOM*  
  
DCI JACKSON: Mr Edward Keating?  
  
ED: Yes.  
  
DCI JACKSON: We'd like to ask you a few questions Mr Keating. Now if you don't mind accompanying us to the station  
  
ED: Why? What is this all about?  
  
DCI Brockhurst took Eds arm and began towards the door but Ed pulled himself free  
  
DCI BROCKHURST: Come on.we don't want any fuss now do we?  
  
ED: What is going on? What is this all about? I haven't done anything  
  
DCI JACKSON: Mr Keating I'm arresting you on suspicion of rape. You do not have to say anything but anything you do say may be taken down and used as evidence.  
  
ED: but..  
  
DCI BROCKHURST: Do you understand?  
  
ED: Yes  
  
DCI Jackson roughly put handcuffs on Ed and led him out of the door, past the nurses station where Kelly and Chrissie stood stunned, their mouths wide open 


	15. Chapter 15

*A FEW WEEKS LATER*  
  
Diane slowly opened her eyes and looked at the clock. It read 10:15am. She was puzzled. How could she have slept until this time? She didn't remember waking up earlier, but Grace usually woke her up at 5am, then 6,7 and 8!! She looked around the room to find herself alone. It was also very quiet in the apartment. 'Where were Alex and Grace?' she thought. She got out of bed, put on her dressing gown and slippers and walked into the living room.  
  
ALEX: Sleep well?  
  
She rubbed her eyes and saw that Alex was making her breakfast. 'What was going on?' she thought  
  
DIANE: mmm.w.where's Grace?  
  
ALEX: Kath and Nick have got her and we've got the whole day to ourselves. Sit down. Tea, coffee or orange juice?  
  
DIANE: err.orange please.why's Kath got Grace? She doesn't need this now, after all she's been through  
  
ALEX: Kath offered. She probably wanted something to take her mind off things, and I wanted to give you a break.you've been through a lot recently too.now breakfast won't be long, why don't you go back to bed and I'll bring it in to you  
  
DIANE: Bu.  
  
ALEX: Go on  
  
Diane got up off the kitchen stool, still slightly puzzled and confused, and slowly went back into the bedroom and made herself comfy in bed.  
  
A few minutes passed and Alex came in carrying a tray for Diane.  
  
ALEX: There you go  
  
Diane was slightly shocked. He had put so much effort into it, just to make her happy.  
  
DIANE: Wow.  
  
Alex smiled  
  
ALEX: I aim to please  
  
Alex laid down on his side next to Diane as she sipped some of the champagne. He picked up some of the strawberries from the tray and started feeding them to her.  
  
* * * * * * * * * *  
  
Kath got up off of the sofa, holding Grace and started to walk over to the pram, but stopped as her vision went fuzzy and the pain in her head returned once again  
  
NICK: Are you ok?  
  
KATH: Mmm.just.got up too quickly  
  
NICK: Are you sure?.it's been happening a lot lately  
  
Kath forced a smile. She knew that her vision had been going fuzzy and she had had lots of pains in her head lately, but she didn't want to worry Nick. In fact it had been ever since that dreadful night and she didn't want to have to talk about that ever again now that Ed was in prison, the best place for him. Now all she wanted to do was look forward to her wedding.  
  
KATH: Stop worrying.I'm fine  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
As Diane took the last mouthful of her breakfast Alex jumped off the bed, smiling  
  
ALEX: Come on.get dressed  
  
DIANE: Why? What's going on?  
  
ALEX: Get dressed and you'll find out  
  
DIANE: Alex! Tell me  
  
He smiled and shook his head. He loved teasing her  
  
DIANE: But.I won't know what to wear!  
  
ALEX: It doesn't matter  
  
DIANE: But.  
  
ALEX: Come on 


	16. Chapter 16

Diane got out of bed and got dressed, still wondering what Alex was up to. They got into the car and drove down quiet country roads with high trees either side, towering over the road and meeting in the middle as if to form a tunnel. The late morning sun was filtering through the leaves onto the road. After a while, Alex drove into an empty car park next to a small wooden building.  
  
DIANE: Alex where are we?  
  
Alex smiled  
  
ALEX: You'll find out in a minute  
  
They got out of the car  
  
DIANE: Alex! Where are we?  
  
Alex took her hand and led her to the front of the building.  
  
ALEX: There!  
  
Diane read the sign  
  
DIANE: 'Mamma's country ice-cream cabin'  
  
She looked at Alex, a little puzzled  
  
ALEX: Come on, inside  
  
DIANE: But.what are we doing here?  
  
ALEX: I thought you could do with a treat.and what is it you always say?.chocolate and ice-cream , a girls best friend!  
  
Diane smiled as Alex led her inside, where they were greeted by a round, smiling lady behind a counter, of what looked like fifty different ice- cream flavours  
  
LADY: Now, what would you like?  
  
DIANE: Er.  
  
ALEX: Have anything you want  
  
DIANE: Erm.  
  
ALEX: Go on  
  
He led her to look at the menu on the wall. She smiled, amazed by all the different combinations of ice-cream  
  
DIANE: Er.the.chocolate and mint.choc-chip.mallow mountain sounds nice  
  
She laughed and looked up at Alex  
  
LADY: I'll bring it over.take a seat  
  
A few minutes passed and the lady brought out a huge glass filled with chocolate and mint choc-chip ice-cream, marshmallows, chocolate sauce, cream and a chocolate flake!  
  
Dianes eyes beamed and laughed as she saw it  
  
DIANE: Wow!  
  
She started eating and looked up at Alex, who was sitting opposite her at the wooden table, watching and smiling.  
  
DIANE: Thanks Alex  
  
He reached across the table and placed his hand on top of hers  
  
ALEX: That's ok.as long as I can have a bit!  
  
DIANE: I don't just mean about the ice-cream  
  
ALEX: I know.  
  
He kissed her hand  
  
ALEX: I just want you to be happy.and you know I'm always here for you  
  
DIANE: I know.thanks  
  
A few hours passed and they found themselves walking along the empty beach, barefoot, hand in hand as the red sun began to disappear down behind the horizon. It was quiet and all that could be heard was the sea gently washing over the sand next to them. They didn't say anything. Nothing needed to be said. Just being there, together, was special. Magical. The tide was slowly coming in, washing away their footprints in the sand, and gently sweeping over their feet. They stopped and turned to look out at the never-ending ocean, and breathed in the fresh air. They looked up at the bright, nearly full moon that was now in the darkening sky. Diane smiled. She felt happy and relaxed. Something that she hadn't felt for a long time. The day had been perfect.  
  
DIANE: I love you Alex  
  
He put his arm around her shoulder and smiled. He was glad that she was happy again.  
  
ALEX: I love you too  
  
He turned around to face her and gently kissed her perfectly on the lips. 


	17. Chpater 17

Alex and Diane arrived home with Grace and Diane kissed her on the head before gently putting her in her cot for the night as dim light shone into the darkened room through cracks in the curtains. She looked down at Grace sleeping peacefully and smiled. The day had been perfect and Kath had been right, she had grown to love Grace and the love she felt for her now was so strong. Stronger than anything else she had ever experienced or imagined. The warmth she felt in her heart. The feeling she got every time she looked at her. Her daughter. She couldn't believe that something so wonderful and so perfect was hers. Hers and Alexs. They had made her, and she was so beautiful and so precious. She couldn't imagine not having Grace in her life now. Diane stoked Graces head and kissed it once again before turning the lights down low and returning to the sitting room. She snuggled up next to Alex and smiled at how perfect everything was. Her life was complete and she was finally happy.  
  
An hour had passed and Diane and Alex had both fallen asleep in each others arms, on the sofa. Alex stirred and yawned as he woke, realising what had happened. Diane was still fast asleep, resting on him. She looked so peaceful. He gently picked her up and carried her into the bedroom where he carefully tucked her into bed.  
  
Alex walked over to Grace's cot and looked down at his daughter. She looked warm, her little cheeks were red, but then again it was quite warm in the room. He bent down to gently stoke her head and kiss her goodnight but was alarmed as his skin touched hers. She was red-hot. Alex knew this wasn't right and he knew that something, something bad, was wrong. He quickly shouted to Diane to wake her up, while lifting the blanket off of Grace and rising up her little top.  
  
ALEX: Diane.DIANE!  
  
She quickly woke up, and Alex gasped as he noticed the start of a rash on Graces chest.  
  
DIANE: Alex?.what do you want?  
  
She rubbed her eyes and looked at him. She could see in his eyes that something wasn't quite right. She had never seen him like this. He looked scared  
  
DIANE: Alex what's wrong?  
  
ALEX: I.don't know.it's Grace.we need to get her to Holby  
  
Dianes heart sank and the fear showed on her face  
  
DIANE: Alex what's wrong with her?.Alex?  
  
Tears began welling in her eyes  
  
ALEX: I don't know.she's burning up.an.  
  
DIANE: Alex what?  
  
ALEX: She's.it looks like she's developing a rash across her chest and stomach. We need to get her to the hospital. 


	18. Chapter 18

Diane and Alex looked through the window at all the machines and people working on Grace. Alex placed his arm around Diane and she nestled in his chest as the tears streamed down her face.  
  
DIANE: Oh Alex.it's all my fault.I'm to blame.  
  
ALEX: No it wasn't.you're not to blame.come on.it was an accident.no-one's to blame.  
  
DIANE: No.you don't understand.  
  
ALEX: Yes I do.it wasn't your fault.  
  
DIANE: No.it's.it's because I didn't love her to start with.  
  
Alexs mouth dropped slightly  
  
ALEX: w.  
  
DIANE: Oh Alex.I know I should have talked to you.but.oh it's all my fault.please don't let anything happen to her.I couldn't bear it.she.means the world to me now.oh.why.did it all have to go wrong?  
  
ALEX: Come on.it'll be fine.you'll see.it's going to be ok..  
  
DIANE: They're.they're punishing me.for.for being a bad mother.  
  
ALEX: Diane you've got to stop talking like this.it's not your fault.you're an excellent mother.now come on.dry those tears.  
  
DIANE: but.what if.  
  
ALEX: No what ifs.you've got to stop talking like this.you'll make yourself ill.she needs us to be strong for her right now  
  
Diane sniffed and Alex gently wiped away her tears with his hand, before putting his arm around her shoulder and kissing her gently on the head  
  
ALEX: Everything's going to be all right  
  
Janice came out of the room and smiled  
  
JANICE: You can go in and see her now if you want. Don't be too alarmed by the machines.  
  
Diane took a deep breath and wiped away the latest tear that was slowly rolling down her cheek  
  
DIANE: Is.is she going to be ok?  
  
JANICE: We're.  
  
Diane cut in  
  
DIANE: It's meningitis isn't it?  
  
ALEX: Diane, let her speak  
  
Janice smiled at Alex  
  
JANICE: It's ok.There are a great number of things it could be. We're doing some tests to find out what it is that's causing these symptoms, but it doesn't look like it's meningitis  
  
Alex and Diane let out a sigh of relief and started to smile  
  
JANICE: I'll leave you to it. I'll be back to check on her a bit later. Just ask the nurses if you want anything  
  
ALEX: Thank you  
  
DIANE: Oh Alex.  
  
They quietly entered the room and Diane sat down next to Graces cot, picking up her tiny hand and rubbing it gently. Alex stood next to Diane with his hand placed lovingly on her shoulder as the tears continued to roll down her now red, wet cheeks.  
  
DIANE: She looks so small.  
  
ALEX: I know.but it's going to be ok  
  
DIANE: It's not fair.she doesn't deserve this.  
  
ALEX: Hey, hey.come on.dry those tears.she needs us to be strong for her while they figure out what's wrong. 


	19. Chapter 19

As Janice walked into the room, Alex stood up and he and Diane stared at her, waiting for news of Grace's condition  
  
JANICE: I've got the test results back and although it is extremely uncommon for it to develop in a baby this young, it looks like Grace has got Roseola Infantum  
  
Diane and Alex looked blank  
  
DIANE: What's that? I've never heard of it. Alex?  
  
JANICE: It's also sometimes called Zahorsky's disease, exanthem subitum or sixth disease.  
  
Alex and Diane continued to look at her blankly  
  
JANICE: Anyway, it's a mild viral infection caused by one of the viruses in the herpes group.  
  
She could see that Diane and Alex were still looking very scared  
  
DIANE: Is.is it serious? Is she going to be ok?  
  
JANICE: It's nothing to be too alarmed at. It's very common in children, although it only usually affects children between the ages of 6 months and three years and the rash usually appears a bit later, so I'd like to keep her in for a day or so, just to keep an eye on her, but she should be fine within a week. The main thing we can do is just try and reduce the high temperature and fever, so we're starting her on Acetaminophen and she'll just need bed rest and make sure she gets lots of fluids so she doesn't dehydrate.  
  
Diane and Alex smiled and sighed with relief  
  
ALEX: Thank you.thank you so much  
  
Janice smiled and left the room  
  
Alex put his arms around Diane, holding her tightly, as she smiled, looking down at Grace sleeping  
  
ALEX: See.she's going to be ok  
  
Alex looked down at Diane and Grace. His family. And he made an important decision . 


	20. Chapter 20

*A FEW DAYS LATER*  
  
Alex came out of the adoption office and looked down at the brown envelope that they had given him, which he held tightly in his hands. He sighed. He didn't know what to do. He had come here to find out the truth. After feeling like he was about to lose Grace, he realised how much family meant to him, but now that he was holding the name of his biological mother in his hands, things seemed different. 'What difference would it make if I knew who she was?' he thought, 'she obviously didn't want me, why should I want her? If she didn't want to know me then, why would now be any different? I'm fine as I am.' He decided once again that he didn't want to know after all and folded up the sealed envelope and put it back in his pocket.  
  
He arrived home and sat down on the sofa. The apartment was quiet as Diane had taken Grace to see Kath for the day, making last minute preparations for the wedding. He sighed and put his head in his hands. He had so many mixed emotions and didn't know which way to turn. One minute he wanted to know who she was, the next he didn't. He had managed to put it out of his mind for ten years, why did it have to come up now, just when he was happy. He had his own family now with Diane and Grace. They were his family. No one else mattered. But it did. In the back of his mind it did. Knowing that he had his biological mothers name in his pocket it was different. He slowly put his hand in his pocket and took out the brown envelope. He held it in front of him with both hands and stared at it. He was shaking. 'Do I really need to know?' he thought. But deep down he knew the answer to that. Yes, he did need to know. If he didn't find out now he knew he would spend the rest of his life wondering. Wondering who she was, and in effect, who he really was. He slowly tore open the envelope and took out the white piece of paper inside. The piece of paper that could change his life. He unfolded it and his mouth dropped out as he read the name of his biological mother and saw a picture of her staring back at him. Surely it couldn't be.  
  
His shock at what he had just found out was interrupted by Diane coming through the front door with Grace.  
  
DIANE: Alex you couldn't give me a hand with the pushchair could you?  
  
He quickly put the envelope back in his pocket and looked towards Diane, his mind still on his 'mother'.  
  
ALEX: W.what?...sorry?  
  
DIANE: Alex.the pushchair  
  
ALEX: oh.yeah.sorry  
  
He got up and walked over to the door  
  
DIANE: Alex, are you all right?  
  
He blinked, trying to get her out of his mind.  
  
ALEX: W.what?.Oh yeah.fine  
  
DIANE: Alex, are you sure?.you don't look too good.you're very pale.you look like you've seen a ghost  
  
'mmm' was Alexs response, as he stared into space, still in disbelief at what he had just found out. Diane could see that something was very wrong.  
  
DIANE: Alex?.Alex, what is it? What's wrong?  
  
ALEX: er.erm.it's.it's my mother..I.I know who she is.she's.she's.  
  
DIANE: Alex?  
  
Alex looked up at Diane as she took his arm and slowly led him to the sofa and to sit down. She took his clasped hands, which were still shaking from the shock, in hers and held them tightly.  
  
DIANE: Alex.what is it? Tell me.  
  
He looked up at her  
  
ALEX: We.we know her.  
  
Dianes mouth dropped open and her green eyes widened in shock  
  
DIANE: W.what?.who?  
  
ALEX: It's.it's. 


	21. Chapter 21

*THE NEXT DAY*  
  
Alex parked his car in the hospital car park and took a deep breath. His stomach was in knots. He was finally going to do it. He was going to confront his mother. He was finally going to speak to his real mother. He had thought about this moment many times, with excitement, but never actually thought it could happen. But now it was about to, and suddenly he didn't know how to feel anymore. He wasn't exactly so much 'excited' now, because he knew who she was, what she looked like. There wasn't going to be the big shock of seeing her for the first time. He was just apprehensive about what her reaction would be. Did she know that he was her son? Did she even care?  
  
He took a deep breath and finally got out of the car and walked along to maternity. He knocked and entered Owens office to find Tricia sitting at her desk.  
  
TRICIA: Oh hello. Owen's in theatre at the minute. Do you want to leave a message?  
  
ALEX: Er.no.it's.it's you I've come to see  
  
TRICIA: Oh?  
  
Alex closed the door and sat down  
  
ALEX: I.I've.I've got something to ask you  
  
TRICIA: Yes?  
  
ALEX: Are.are.you.are you my .mother?  
  
Tricia looked down and there was a pause, before she finally looked at him again  
  
TRICIA: How long have you known?  
  
Alex blinked. 'Was she saying that it's true?' he thought  
  
ALEX: S.so.it's true?  
  
TRICIA: Yes  
  
Alex let out a deep breath and clutched his hands together. Now that she had confirmed it, he couldn't quite believe it anymore  
  
ALEX: W.  
  
TRICIA: Why did I give you up?.I was fifteen. I had no choice. My parents went mad when they found out. They wanted me to have an abortion.but I couldn't.I couldn't have done that.and I was too far gone anyway  
  
ALEX: M.my.my father?  
  
TRICIA: He was older.oh I wasn't raped.I loved him.but he didn't feel the same and I never heard from him once he found out about you  
  
ALEX: y.you didn't seem surprised when I asked you..  
  
TRICIA: Oh I knew who you were.when I first saw you here at Holby I knew who you were. You look just like your father did and I named you, you see, and I knew that the couple adopting you were Mr and Mrs Adams. It wasn't hard to figure out you were.my son  
  
ALEX:And..Y...you...didn't say anything?...You just pretended I wasn't there? How could you...how could you have done that?  
  
Tricia looked down at the desk and didn't answer. She didn't know how to answer.  
  
ALEX: An.and.er.Chrissie? Does she know?  
  
TRICIA: No.and I'd prefer it if she didn't find out either.not yet anyway  
  
ALEX: You.you kept her.  
  
TRICIA: Yes. I was six years older. I had grown up a lot in those six years. I'd left home and I was in a relationship.it was hard then.there was no way I could have coped with you at fifteen. 


	22. Chapter 22

*A FEW DAYS LATER*  
  
TRICIA: Chrissie, sit down, I need to talk to you.  
  
Chrissie carried on frantically looking for her bag  
  
CHRISSIE: Mum, can it wait? We're gunna be late for Kath and Nicks wedding  
  
Tricia took a deep breath. There was nothing she would have liked more than to put it off again, but she knew that she had to tell Chrissie, and she had to do it now, while she had the confidence, or she would never do it at all.  
  
TRICIA: No, Chrissie, it can't wait.it's important  
  
CHRISSIE: Yeah, it always is.  
  
TRICIA: CHRISSIE!.sorry.can you just sit down please.I've got something important to tell you.  
  
Chrissie sat down on the sofa next to Tricia, who took her hand. Chrissie felt nervous, scared. What was it that her mother was about to tell her that was so important? Various scenarios rushed through her head about what it might be. Was she ill? Dying? What? But nothing quite prepared her for happened next  
  
CHRISSIE: Mum, what is it?  
  
TRICIA: Chrissie.woah!.I don't quite know how to say this.  
  
CHRISSIE: Mum?  
  
TRICIA: A long time ago.before you were born.I.I was fifteen.and I.I was seeing this boy, well man.and.and well.I.I got pregnant.  
  
Chrissie looked at Tricia, unsure why she was telling her this and why now?  
  
TRICIA: I was pregnant and.well when he found out.he didn't want to know.and.well in those days things were different.you know.single mothers, single teenage mothers, were...well, not exactly welcomed into society.but.but I couldn't have an abortion either so.so he, the baby,.he was adopted.  
  
CHRISSIE: Oh mum.  
  
TRICIA: No Chrissie wait.you don't understand.he.he's.he's here in Holby.  
  
CHRISSIE: Have you met him?  
  
TRICIA: Yes.Chrissie.it's.it's Alex  
  
Chrissies eyes widened in shock  
  
CHRISSIE: What? Alex Adams?  
  
TRICIA: Yes.I'm sorry Chrissie.  
  
Chrissie got up and walked over to the fireplace, pushing her hair back with her hands, trying to get her head around what she had just been told  
  
CHRISSIE: Alex.Alex Adams.you're Alex Adams mother?  
  
TRICIA: Chrissie I'm sorry.please understand.  
  
CHRISSIE: I.I can't believe this.Alex Adams is your.your son?.my.my half brother?.D.does he know?  
  
TRICIA: Yes  
  
CHRISSIE: And.and neither of you bothered to tell me?  
  
TRICIA: Chrissie please.don't blame him.he only just found out.please sit down.  
  
CHRISSIE: NO!.I.I've got to get my head around this.I.I can't.is there anyone else I don't now about? Is Lisa my sister? Diane? Kelly? Are there any other children you haven't bothered to tell me about?  
  
TRICIA: No of course not.Chrissie please.  
  
CHRISSIE: I.I don't know who you are anymore.who I am.you've been living a lie.  
  
Unknown to Tricia or Chrissie Owen had walked in  
  
OWEN: You told her then  
  
Tricia shot Owen a look as if to say 'no. Shut up' but Owen didn't notice and carried on talking as Chrissie turned around to face him  
  
CHRISSIE: You.you knew about this? Am I the last to know? Does the whole of Holby know except me?  
  
OWEN: Chrissie we're sorry...it just sort of happened.we can't control how we feel.  
  
Chrissie stopped  
  
CHRISSIE: What?  
  
OWEN: Chrissie I'm sorry.we just.  
  
CHRISSIE: W.what? What? Hang on a minute.what are you talking about?  
  
OWEN: I understand that it's hard for you to get your head around me and your mum being together.  
  
CHRISSIE: WHAT?!?  
  
TRICIA: Nice one Owen!  
  
OWEN: What?  
  
TRICIA: I hadn't told her about us  
  
CHRISSIE: I.I can't believe this.you two...ugh! You make me sick! And you had the nerve to throw me out because of Ed and all the while you've been carrying on behind my back with.her.my own mother! You two disgust me!  
  
Chrissie walked to the door  
  
TRICIA: Chrissie wait! Where are you going?  
  
CHRISSIE: Like you care!  
  
TRICIA: Of course I care.Chrissie!  
  
The door slammed shut behind Chrissie and Tricia put her head in her hands while Owen rested his hand on her shoulder  
  
OWEN: Come on.she'll calm down eventually.we've got a wedding to get to. 


	23. Chapter 23

Kath looked at herself in her white dressing-table mirror. She couldn't believe that it was finally the day that she was going to marry the most wonderful man in the world. He was her Mr Perfect and she was so excited at the thought of becoming Mrs Nick Jordan. She took a deep breath and put her hand on her stomach, where it felt like butterflies were doing summersaults, but she knew that she was doing the right thing. She wanted to marry Nick more than anything in the world. She remembered the night that he proposed to her down on one knee. He had gone to so much effort.the single red rose that he gave to her, the candle, the dinner, the red rose petals on the tablecloth.it was perfect and she knew that today would be perfect too. He was perfect. She looked across to the picture frame next to her. The picture of Terry staring back at her, and she remembered the day she married him as she ran her thumb across his face. She loved him, but he was gone now, and there was nothing she could do about it. She had found a new love with Nick and she knew that she was doing the right thing. Terry would be happy for her.  
  
Her trail of thought was interrupted by Diane knocking on the bedroom door  
  
DIANE: Ready?  
  
Kath smiled  
  
KATH: Yep, come in  
  
Diane peered around the door and gasped. Smiling, she walked over and stood behind Kath and looked into the mirror at her  
  
DIANE: You look.beautiful...just perfect.Nick Jordan's a lucky man  
  
Kath giggled  
  
KATH: I'm the lucky one  
  
Just then, they heard the doorbell ring. Diane looked out of the window to see who it was  
  
DIANE: The car's here.ready?  
  
KATH: I think so.  
  
Kath smiled and got up but stopped as her eyes went fuzzy once again, and she had piercing pains run through her head once again. Diane turned around  
  
DIANE: Kath? Are you ok?  
  
KATH: Mmmm.yeah, I'm fine.I just.got up too quickly  
  
Diane wasn't convinced  
  
DIANE: Are you sure? It happened the other day as well  
  
KAHT: I'm fine.stop fussing.we've got a wedding to get to  
  
They both smiled and Kath tried to put the pain out of her mind as they walked out of the door and got into the white wedding car that was waiting for them. 


	24. Chapter 24

The car pulled up outside the church and Diane smiled at Kath  
  
DIANE: Ready?  
  
Kath giggled nervously  
  
KATH: Yes  
  
They walked up the path and stopped at the open door, looking in and Kath took a deep breath. She knew that she was about to change the rest of her life forever and felt so many emotions. She felt so happy and excited but somewhat nervous. She had been married before, and it wasn't the fairytale that every little girl dreams of, and although she knew that this would be different - Nick would never hurt her and he wasn't terminally ill, she still had doubts about whether the fairytale wedding was actually possible. But she knew that she would never find out if she didn't take the chance now and walk down the isle, and she knew that whatever life had instore for her, she would be much happier being with Nick. The man that she truly loved and wanted to spend the rest of her life with. She nodded to the organist and as the wedding march started playing everyone in the church stood up and turned to see Kath walking down the isle, smiling at how beautiful she looked. She looked down the isle to see Nick standing waiting for her in his dark grey suit and she felt like a child on Christmas morning, knowing that the best present in the world was waiting for her.  
  
VICAR: We are all gathered here today to witness the joining.  
  
Alex sat with Grace on his lap and smiled as he looked up at Diane, who was standing behind Kath. He couldn't believe how wonderful she looked and how much he loved her. He turned his eyes to Kath and Nick and looked at how happy they were together. He could see the way they were looking at each other, so in love, and he knew that he wanted that to be him and Diane standing there, saying their vows and declaring their love in front of all their friends and family.  
  
Ric sat, his eyes transfixed on Diane, and remembered their wedding day. It had been the happiest day of his life, and the feelings of love he felt for her all flooded back to the surface. He thought that his life was complete, that everything was perfect, that they would spend the rest of their lives together. 'How could I have been so wrong?' he thought to himself, trying to fight back the single tear that was about to escape from his eye. 'It must be true what they say - love is blind' he thought.  
  
VICAR: Repeat after me.  
  
KATH: I Katherine Ann Fox, take thee Nicholas Jordan.  
  
NICK: .Take the Katherine Ann Fox, to be my lawful wedded wife.  
  
KATH: .From this day forth.  
  
NICK: .For better or worse.  
  
KATH: .For richer, for poorer.  
  
NICK: .In sickness and in health  
  
KATH: .To love and to cherish.  
  
NICK: .Till death us do part.  
  
VICAR: I now pronounce you man and wife.you may kiss the bride  
  
Kath and Nick turned to face each other, both smiling, both in a world of their own. A world where only the other person mattered. As Nick slipped his arms around Kaths waist and kissed her, the congregation all clapped and smiled to themselves, remembering the ones that they loved... 


	25. Chapter 25

*AT THE WEDDING RECEPTION*  
  
DJ: If the bride and groom would like to take their place on the dance floor for the first the dance.  
  
Kath smiled as Nick took her hand in his and led her to the dance-floor where the DJ was playing their song. Everyone watched, smiling, as Kath and Nick moved slowly along to the music together, her head on his shoulder, eyes closed, smiling peacefully as he held her in his arms. He whispered 'I love you' to her and she laughed nervously without opening her eyes. Everything was perfect. She was with the man, her husband, whom she loved more than anything in the world, and had her closest friends around her.  
  
Kath tried to keep smiling, trying to block out the increasing pain in her head, that was slowly becoming unbearable, but Nick could see that her smile was false  
  
NICK: Kath, are you alright?  
  
She lifted her head up off his shoulder and looked at him, trying to get him into focus rather than the fuzz she was seeing  
  
KATH: mmm.just a bit.too much champagne I think  
  
Nick laughed and pulled her close to him once again  
  
NICK: What are we going to do with you Mrs Jordan?!  
  
Kath smiled. 'Mrs Jordan' she thought, 'I like the sound of that'.  
  
As the song finished they pulled apart slightly  
  
NICK: Do you want to sit down?  
  
KATH: mmm.I think that would be best  
  
As they started to make their way through the people on the dance floor Kath put her hand to her head. She was in agony, but didn't want it to spoil the day. The most important and wonderful day of her life. But it was too late and she couldn't bear it any longer when her legs collapsed beneath her and she fell to the ground with a thud.  
  
Everyone stopped dancing and Nick ran back and knelt down beside her, taking her hand  
  
NICK: Kath?.Kath? Wake up.Kath?  
  
Tears began to roll down his face as Ric and Alex moved everyone out of the way.  
  
ALEX: Diane, call an ambulance  
  
Diane nodded and ran back to the table, picking up Alex's jacket that was hanging on the chair and took his mobile out  
  
DIANE: Hello? Yes.Ambulance please. 


	26. Chapter 26

Nick sat at Kaths bedside, holding her hand tightly in his, as the doctor walked in carrying Kaths notes. Kath and Nick looked at each other, both scared, terrified of what was about to be said.  
  
DOCTOR: We've got the results of the MRI and CT scan.  
  
Kath and Nick took a deep breath. It felt as though their lives were hanging in the air, balancing on a tightrope. They knew that what the doctor was about to say might just change their lives forever  
  
DOCTOR: I'm afraid.  
  
Tears began to well in Kaths eyes. Those two words, 'I'm afraid' were not what she wanted to hear. She knew what they meant. Nick squeezed her hand tighter. They were both in the medical profession, they both knew what was to come after those two little words. They had used them often enough themselves when dealing with patients, yet had never really thought about it from the patients point of view. Never actually realised what those two simple words meant to the patient until now. They were easy to say, but not quite so easy to listen to  
  
DOCTOR: I'm afraid it looks as though there's some swelling and a build up of fluids surrounding the left side of the brain, probably caused by a blow to the head, which has caused pressure to build against the brain, accounting for the blurred vision and severe headaches that you've been experiencing, and which led to the blackout you had earlier today.  
  
Those word rung in her head, 'earlier today'. Today was her wedding day. It was supposed to be the happiest day of her life. It had been the happiest day of her life, until now. 'Probably caused by a blow to the head.'. It was him. Ed. He had given her a blow to the head when he smashed it against the tree on the terrible night that he raped her. It had been ever since that night that she had been having headaches. Even now, now that he's in prison, he still manages to ruin her life. Her wedding day. He still managed to hurt her even though he's not there  
  
NICK: but...there's something you can do, right?.to relieve the pressure.an operation.  
  
DOCTOR: I'm afraid.  
  
It was those two words again. Those two horrible words that they didn't want to hear.  
  
DOCTOR: I'm afraid it would be far too risky to operate due to the position and severity of the swelling.  
  
Tears welled in their eyes  
  
NICK: S.so.w.what are you going to do?  
  
DOCTOR: I'm very sorry.I'm afraid there's nothing we can do apart from make Kath as comfortable as possible by giving her painkillers.  
  
Tears trickled down Kaths cheeks. She had said nothing until now. It had all felt like a bad dream, as though it was happening to someone else while she just watched from the side. But she glanced at Nick and saw the look on his face. The look that told it all. The look that she knew meant that she wasn't dreaming and the tears that told her that it was real. It was happening to her. She blinked, trying to take it all in and understand what was being said  
  
KATH: S.so...w.what are you saying?  
  
DOCTOR: I'm very sorry.  
  
KATH: Am.am I going to die?  
  
The doctor blinked and slowly nodded her head  
  
DOCTOR: I'm very sorry.  
  
The tears began to fall faster from her deep brown eyes. She didn't want to die. She had so much to live for. So much more love to give, if only she had the chance. She had finally found happiness. Found someone that she loved more than anything else in the world. She had never felt this way about anyone before, never knew it was possible to feel this way and to be loved in return. To feel loved and secure, but now it had all been taken away from her. There was nothing she or Nick could do about it, and she knew that it was all because of what he did to her. Not only had he taken away her spirit, but now he was taking away her life, and she felt sick with anger just thinking about him. What he did to her. It was him that deserved to die, not her. 


	27. Chapter 27

Kath and Nick walked out of the hospital, hand in hand, neither of them saying anything. They didn't know what to say. Nothing was going to change what they had just been told. Change the fact that Kath was dying. They walked across the car park, not really sure where they were going, just walking.  
  
They eventually came to the park and managed a smile as they saw children playing in the late afternoon sun. They sat down on the grass and looked like any ordinary, happy couple, she on her back with her head on his stomach, him smiling and stroking her hair while he talked. She looked really happy, on the outside. It was her wedding day after all, but on the inside she was devastated and confused, unable to get her head around what she had just been told. That she was dying.  
  
NICK: You.you know I'm.I'm gunna be here for you don't you.  
  
Tears began forming in his eyes once again, unable to imagine his life, his world, without her being in it  
  
Kath nodded her head. She knew that if she opened her mouth to speak she would be unable to hold the tears back any longer, and she knew that she would never stop.  
  
NICK: I...I love you Kath, you know that don't you  
  
Kath gently nodded once again and Nick lent down and kissed her head. Kath closed her eyes. It was all she could do to stop the tears from escaping and running down her face.  
  
'Why? Why me?' she thought, 'why now? Just when I've found happiness.' She remembered all the times that she would have been glad to learn that she was dying. Glad to escape her life, the hell that she was living. There had been times that she had wished that she could curl up and die, because it seemed the better option. A way out. A way out of being a human punch bag night after night. A way out of having to lie to everyone around her about how she got the latest bruise, the latest black eye. A way out of having to explain to Danny about what his father was really like. But now. Now she didn't need a way out. She didn't want a way out. What she wanted was to be with Nick. To spend many happy years with him. Just lying in his arms, being with him, made her feel safe, secure and happy. Feelings she liked. Feelings she had never felt before. But now she was being given a way out, without a choice and there was nothing she wanted least, and nothing she could do about it.  
  
Nick continued stroking Kaths hair, gently brushing away from her face. He still couldn't believe what was happening. How could he have gone from being so happy this morning, to feeling like his, feeling like he had had his heart ripped out. Today had been his wedding day, the happiest day of his life, but it had been taken away so suddenly. They were supposed to be going on their honeymoon tomorrow, instead they would be going to the hospital, and know that Kath would never come out again. 


	28. Chapter 28

Kath and Nick returned home and Kath picked up the phone and dialled  
  
KATH: Diane, it's Kath.  
  
DIANE: Kath, are you ok? What did the hospital say?  
  
KATH: Er.  
  
She couldn't tell Diane like this. Not over the phone  
  
KATH: Why don't you come round for coffee?  
  
Diane was worried. Why couldn't Kath tell her over the phone? What was it? What was wrong with her?  
  
DIANE: Ok.  
  
*20 MINUTES LATER*  
  
Diane and Kath sat down on the sofa.  
  
DIANE: Kath. What is it? What did the doctor say?  
  
Kath took Dianes hand in hers and looked straight at her. Diane felt worried  
  
KATH: I.I'm.I'm dying.  
  
Tears began forming in Dianes eyes and she slowly shook her head  
  
DIANE: No..no.  
  
Kath bit her lip and rubbed Dianes hand, as tears fell down her face  
  
KATH: Come on.it's.it's ok.  
  
Diane continued shaking her head, the tears still falling from her eyes  
  
DIANE: No.w.what.am I going.to do without you?  
  
KATH: Hey, You'll.be fine. You don't need me.you've got Alex.and.you've got a beautiful daughter.  
  
DIANE: But.I.I need my best friend.  
  
Kath and Diane leaned forwards and held each other tightly; tears falling uncontrollably down both of their faces.  
  
Diane took a deep breath. This wasn't fair what she was doing. She had to be strong for Kath, not the other way around. She pulled away from Kath and took another deep breath, wiping away the tears that were running down her face.  
  
DIANE: Remember, I'll.I'll always be here for you.  
  
Kath nodded  
  
DIANE: a.a friend.some.someone to talk to.or.or just a friendly shoulder to cry on.or share a box of chocolates with!  
  
Kath and Diane giggled through the tears and heartache  
  
DIANE: .when.when you need someone.when.when you're feeling alone.no matter what time it is.I'll.I'll be here for you through it all.  
  
Kath smiled  
  
DIANE: the good and the bad.to catch you and help you pick yourself up again when you're feeling low.and.and help put.put that stunning smile back on your beautiful face.  
  
Kath looked down, slightly embarrassed with the compliment and Diane took her hand and rubbed it  
  
DIANE: I'm.I'm always gunna be here.like you were for me.when I needed you.coz.coz you're the best friend I've ever had.  
  
Once again, the tears began welling in Dianes eyes  
  
DIANE: I'm.I'm lucky to have such a good friend like you.I don't know what I'm..  
  
Diane stopped. She couldn't bring herself to say 'going to do without you'. She knew what she was about to say, but she didn't want to. She didn't want to have to face the fact that Kath would not be here anymore, and she tried to blink back the tears.  
  
DIANE: Good friends like you are hard to find.you know that?  
  
They leaned in towards each other again and tightly hugged 


	29. Chapter 29

Nick and Kath arrived at the hospital and took a deep breath, looking up at the tall building. Although they had seen it so many times before, this time it seemed different and they noticed everything about it, each floor, each window, each face staring out. They had seen it before, but hadn't actually 'noticed' it, and it looked so different. It was different because of what it now represented. Before, it had just been where they worked, but now they knew it was where Kath would be spending the final days before she died.  
  
They entered the ward and were shown to the room where Kath would be. The nurse came in and took Kaths obs and wired her up to the monitors and painkillers. Kath watched, with a lump in her throat, wishing that it was her that was doing this, her being the nurse, not the patient. She thought about all the times she had taken peoples obs and wired them up to the machines, and tears welled in her eyes, as she realised that she would never be doing it again. She would never be 'Kath the nurse' again. All she was now was 'Kath, the patient in bed 3. The one that was dying.' And she realised that she had never actually been given the chance to be called 'Sister Jordan'. She hadn't been to work since she had married Nick, because it had been that same day that she was told that she was dying.  
  
She swallowed, gulping back the lump in her throat and turned to Nick  
  
KATH: you go and get a coffee or something  
  
NICK: No, I'm staying with you, I'm fine  
  
KATH: No you're not, you need a break from this room  
  
He looked at Kath and knew that she wasn't going to take 'no' for an answer. Nick sighed  
  
NICK: Ok...  
  
He kissed her on the head  
  
NICK: I won't be long...  
  
As Nick got up and left the room, Kath quietly let out a deep breath. As much as she loved Nick and was glad that he was with her, she didn't need looking after every second and needed to be on her own, in her own space with her own emotions, now and again. She needed to shed a few tears, but felt as though she couldn't do that in front of people, Nick and Diane, she didn't want to. She didn't want them to have to cope with that as well, trying to find something to say, knowing that nothing, no words, were going to make any difference or change anything.  
  
Kath rolled on to her side and looked towards the window, tears gently beginning to roll down her face, just as Nick walked back in...  
  
NICK: Sorry I forgot to ask, do you want anythi...  
  
He looked up and saw the tears in her eyes  
  
NICK: Kath...oh...Kath...  
  
He sat down on the side of the bed and held her in his arms. She hadn't wanted him to see her cry, but now that she had started, there was no stopping the tears from falling from her deep brown eyes  
  
NICK: Shhh...shhhh...  
  
KATH: I...I'm just...I'm frightened Nick...I'm frightened  
  
NICK: I.I know.I know.  
  
KATH: I don't want to die.not now.not like this.  
  
Nick continued holding her tightly as the tears began welling in his eyes. He didn't know what to say. There were no words that were going to make her feel better, change what was happening. As much as he didn't want them to, tears began rolling down his face. It wasn't his place to cry. He had to be strong for Kath, but there was nothing he could do to stop he tears from falling, like hers were.  
  
NICK: Oh Kath.the days I've wasted just not being with you.I'm sorry.and.and it's breaking my heart.coz.coz I'm to blame.and I've taken you for granted.  
  
KATH: No.no you haven't.in my life your one of the few people who hasn't taken me for granted.and I love you.  
  
NICK: When I look back I can see it.in so many ways.  
  
Nick wiped a tear away from his cheek and took a deep breath  
  
NICK: but not any more.from this moment on I'm gunna make every second count.make every moment special.and I'm not gunna leave you.not again.I'm here for you my darling.I'm here.I'm never gunna leave your side.  
  
Kath flinched in pain and another tear rolled down her face  
  
NICK: Oh hunney.if I could make the pain go away I would.I would swap places with you in an instant  
  
Kath nodded, tears still falling  
  
KATH: I know.but when I look back I don't see that.when I look at all the time I've spent with you.I can't help but smile.I think about you everyday.  
  
NICK: And I think about you everyday too.and.and I always will. 


	30. Chapter 30

Diane took a deep breath, smiled and knocked on the door of Kaths room, opened it and popped her head around  
  
DIANE: Room for a little one?  
  
Kath smiled and Diane walked over to the bed  
  
NICK: I'll leave you two to it.you can have a good old girly chat  
  
They all smiled and lightly giggled. Nick got up and kissed Kath on the head and walked out of the door  
  
KATH: So.what's been going on.fill me in on all the gossip!  
  
They both smiled  
  
DIANE: Not much to tell really.oh.apparently Owen and Tricia have been seeing each other, and Chrissie found out and that's why she didn't turn up to the wedding.  
  
Diane stopped and they both looked down and remembered the wedding, tears welling in their eyes. The day that Kath had been looking forward to so much, and was so happy, and then it all came crashing down around her as she found out that she was dying.  
  
As much as she was trying to be strong for Kath, a silent tear managed to escape and roll down Dianes cheek.  
  
KATH: Hey.  
  
Kath swallowed, trying to hold back the lump in her throat  
  
DIANE: Oh Kath.I don't want to loose you.  
  
Kath took Dianes hand and swallowed back the lump in her throat once again  
  
KATH: It's.like they say.good friends.are.are like stars.you.you don't always see them.but.but you know they are ALWAYS there.and.  
  
It was no use. It hadn't worked, and now the tears were silently rolling down Kaths face, like they were on Dianes  
  
KATH: and.I'll always be looking down on you.and.I'll.I'll be watching.whenever you need me.you just.you just look up to the sky.and.and I'll be there for you.  
  
They both leaned in towards each other again and hugged, tears falling down both of their faces.  
  
Nick stood outside the room with Ric, looking through the window in at Kath and Diane, tears slowly rolling down his face.  
  
NICK: I just.don't.don't understand.how.how something so terrible could happen to someone so wonderful.someone so beautiful.who's only ever helped people.and now.now when she's happy again.after being through so much.something so magical in her life.and now.her spark has gone.right before my eyes.and it kills me to watch her go through this.knowing.knowing she's in so much pain.and knowing that I can do nothing.nothing to help her.nothing to make her pain just go away.it's.it's breaking my heart just watching her go through it all.what I would give to have my old Kath back again.it's just so.so spiteful and unfair that this has to happen to her.to Kath.my darling Kath.  
  
Ric placed his hand on Nicks shoulder  
  
RIC: I know.but this situation is out of hands now.what we can control is the amount of love and support we show her now.at the time she needs us more then ever.and I know it's hard, but she needs us to be strong.no matter how much we are hurting inside.coz she's hurting and she's scared too, just like us.we've just got to be here for her and make.make these last moments count.make them special and precious.because she is special and precious.  
  
Diane came out of the room, tears still running down her face and walked over to Alex, who was sitting opposite the room with Grace. Alex stood up and took Diane in his arms, while she cried uncontrollably into his shirt.  
  
ALEX: Shhh.  
  
Alex kissed her on the head and began stoking her hair.  
  
Kath turned to face Nick as he walked back into the room, the pain and heartache still showing on his face  
  
KATH: Don't frown.you never know who is falling in love with your smile.  
  
The tears began to roll faster down his face. He couldn't smile. How could he smile when he knew that his beautiful wife Kath, the love of his life, was slowly slipping away? And he didn't want anyone to fall in love with his smile. He couldn't ever love anyone else. He loved Kath. And wanted to be with her forever.  
  
KATH: It's late.why don't you go home?  
  
NICK: No.no I'm fine.you go to sleep if you want.I'll just sit here with you.  
  
Nick kissed Kath on the head as she yawned and rolled over onto her side and closed her eyes. She felt tired, but didn't really know why. It was late but although she hadn't exactly done much during the day, it had left her feeling exhausted and drained.  
  
Nick sat down next to the bed and watched her sleep. She looked so peaceful, beautiful, like she always did in his eyes. He had often watched her sleep.  
  
~*~  
  
# I could stay awake just to hear you breathing; Watch you smile while you are sleeping; While you're far away and dreaming; I could spend my life in this sweet surrender; I could stay lost in this moment forever; Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure.  
  
Don't wanna close my eyes; Don't wanna fall asleep; 'Cuz I'd miss you baby; And I don't wanna miss a thing; 'Cuz even when I dream of you; The sweetest dream would never do; I'd still miss you baby; And I don't wanna miss a thing #  
  
~*~ . He yawned and rested his head down on the bed  
  
~*~  
  
# Laying close to you; Feeling your heart beating; And I'm wondering what you're dreaming; Wondering if it's me you're seeing; Then I kiss your eyes; And thank God we're together; I just want to stay with you in this moment forever; Forever and ever.  
  
I don't wanna miss one smile; I don't wanna miss one kiss; I just wanna be with you; Right here with you just like this; I just wanna hold you close; Feel your heart so close to mine; And just stay here in this moment for all the rest of time; Baby, baby  
  
Don't wanna close my eyes; Don't wanna fall asleep; 'Cuz I'd miss you baby; And I don't wanna miss a thing; 'Cuz even when I dream of you; The sweetest dream would never do; I'd still miss you baby; And I don't wanna miss a thing. #  
  
~*~  
  
Nick had slowly fallen asleep, but was woken by the loud steady beep of the monitor next to Kath and tears began rolling uncontrollably down his face. He knew what it meant. He knew that she had gone.  
  
Nick was still holding her hand and he put his head back down on the bed. The tears still falling uncontrollably from his eyes. He never knew he could hurt this much. Knowing that he would never hear her soft voice again was unbearable. Not seeing her everyday was unthinkable, unliveable. How would he cope without her? She meant so much to him. She was his life. He would have done anything for her. And now she was gone. He couldn't bare imagine a life without her. She had left a hole inside his heart. His heart, that was aching and no one could ever fill that hole again. No one could ever take her place. His heart was made for Kath. And now she was gone he felt an emptiness inside like nothing he had ever felt before.  
  
He kissed her on the head and whispered 'I love you.forever'. As the doctors and nurses started rushing in he slowly got up and slipped out of the door. He started walking, he wasn't sure where he was going, what he was doing. He didn't care. His mind was still with Kath, and he couldn't believe that she had gone. The love of his life had gone 


End file.
